DEAR MA.... my coming out letter which i couldnt post..

Now a days everything inside me feels strange. its like a whirlpool of emotions...

i want to tell my parents that i am different, but i can't as it will break their hearts..
---
once upon a time there was a guy (ofcourse like me!!) and he was gay( yet again like me) !!
Once or twice he ran away from home, but came back when the night drew closer..

tried to cut his veins and stuff like that .. damn that guy !!!!

so he thought of telling his mom that he was gay and they have to accept him the way he is..

he know his mother would make his dad understand all this....
--
the letter was something like this...

Dear Ma,

I know that I am not a good son. I condemned myself as being 'selfish', 'stubborn' and 'dirty'. It hurts to know how cruel one is especially when your parents do so much. But I can still proudly say that I have never made any unnecessary demands, I remember the times we were down and out - your son's never once had a demand.

The reason I don't want to marry is because I am gay, and marriage would be a sham and a conscious crime against a woman. I have never intended to harm any one, and I won't.


To you my sexuality may be a rude shock, but to me it is a reality I have lived with for 22 years. Every time I wanted to discuss this with you, or raised the topic, I somehow turned away, in fright and fear of loosing you and every one else.

My sexuality is not a choice. It is the way God has made me. It is not done to hurt you. And it certainly is not a defect.
I had a choice before me:

1. Marry, and live a secret life (this was unacceptable to me)
2. Stay single for the rest of my life (this was tolerable but painful)
3. Find someone like me with whom I could share my life PARTLY if not
totally (this was desirable)


For so many years, I was alone and miserable. Parents who would never understand me and a brother who could offer no support as they never knew. Friends who lived in a different world.
You are undergoing a lot of pain. I understand the pain but I cannot change. This is the way I am. To get rid of the pain you have to accept the truth. Or you will spend the rest of your life despising me for something over which I have no choice. I know at this point in time you must be crying, I too am crying but am away from you for a day as I do not have the strength to look you' all in the eye.
I have suffered too long, the rickshaw accident never happened the stitches were because I cut my hand in frustration and despair
On two occasions I had left the house with a note in my pocket with an aim to kill my self, I cried pathetically when leaving home and the building. I even sat in a rickshaw to go to the station but detracted not because I was scared of death - I seriously wasn't… I was scared what would happen when I am gone. I would ruin an entire family forever; I promise I would never do anything foolish again.

You have a choice before you:
1. Accept me for what I am and nurture a joyful relationship
2. Ignore my life and pretend that I am a 'wicked' son
3. Reject me and make nobody happy.


Please, I want happiness…
Love you always.
Your son


well he could not show this to his mom.. and he is waiting for the right time..

---

is this right for him??
i dont know.... why do i care.... let him be the judge!!!

poor that GAY boy.. pity!!!

life can be harsh .....

shifting to another blog!

well my previous blog was

http://www.abysmal-me.blogspot.com



and i forgot the login details....


so shifting here now...