The Last Bow

As my life grows by,
my heart reverberates vaguely,
eyes wander inquiringly—

I expected to hear loud explosions
of your heartbeat… your artificial smile,
witness the blue cigarette  smoke curling,
masquerading your face…

You devoured me… with your artificial smile,
the blue smoke, your breath, engulfed me…
the hatred and love in your blue eyes
in the chilly winter day……. ahhhhhhhh!

The cold still travels with me
it envelopes like a shell,
Yes, its a dreary life… and yet….


I think i’ve hardly lived….
despised my family, left my responsibilities…
but in these final moments,
when life is at the verge of engulfing me…

I am again up for sale—
I wish someone had a proposition.


Duh!

Me Against Myself-again!

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.”