Portrayal of a Man-"HIM"

Sitting on the Couch! Today, i feel a sharp pang... not in my body but in the soul!

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Engulfed by the new-found urgency for a lover in my life....
hugging my teddy at night, i couldn't sleep for hours.....................................

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I woke up hearing the chirping of birds outside my window....it encapsulated me in the trauma...
pain of being alone...... unable to find my soul mate......... a lover............a part of me!

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I decided to capture "HIM" on the canvas..... on the paper... on internet.........but all in vain..

I still see the image of "Me and HIM"... rapt in love... cuddling and kissing......... and all!

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It gave me a hard time... I wasn't "Me" for quiet a long time............. I searched for "HIM" in my classmates... gym pals... and god know where............but still.... I was alone.... but not lonely!

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Tried capturing "HIM" on the computer, on the canvas... but at last I sat down and scribbled something and then started drawing..switching from pencils and charcoals to pens and markers, a riskier medium, since each stroke was committed indelibly to paper,
my imagination took over, supplying from memory,intrinsic shading, cross-hatching shadows, and blackness of those eyes lit up by the magical incandescence of my kisses
their lofty plumes broken by silvery glaucous tones....

with each stroke of the pencil, "HE" started appearing in front of my... i could see his eyes and face and lips... and a part of his body that belonged to me only...........

I could spend a lifetime shading and refining one drawing as he revealed his body to my pencils and brushes... the body that I so seeked for... a warm chest to hug and a caressing lips to feel................


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Suddenly, the wind blows and "HE" flies out of the window..... into the infinity...
taking me back into reality where I was still alone...still in search for "HIM"

I wanted to continue my search for "HIM".... but then I realised... This is what is called LIFE.... so I left the pen.. pencil...charcoal... grabbed remote control of the TV and sat for for hours.......... where i belonged......... on the COUCH!


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