My View of life or something like that....

I feel like a child, hiding inside an invisible cloak, trying to hold my childhood in my hands,
I miss the days spent with my brother, my sister, we flew in imaginary clouds... we played in the sunflower fields. now i find myself hidden inside my diary pages.. and trampling between my blog posts!
sometimes i feel so old, hiding inside a young body, trying to hold imaginary readers, if any, for half a minute with some long phthisical tale of distress, which they listen to with many a bob of the head, smack of finger tips on the keyboard and other symptoms of impatience. My past haunts me, chases me where i go. I try to write... but my crumpled fingers forget how to write. i love this masquerade, my fingers behave like a wise man, sententious; full of profound remarks on such a shallow subject; My Life!
duh!

I am not alone in this vain exercise; dwelling upon the minute recollections of irrevocable past imparts pleasure. Absorbed in melancholia as I am, I am overlooked here for seeking relief in this manner, however tenuous and temporary. To my blunted fancy these trifles assume an adventitious importance, for they shaped my dubious destiny which soon overshadows us. My destiny.. cheats me with all the surprises... surprisingly i found out about my likings, my fantasies and dream stood mutilated in front of me. But yet i feel content, life seems mellow... and yes dwelling upon the lovely moments in the past imbibes a different aroma into my soul, imparts pleasure unknown to me but it all happens in a reverie.... that seems a light year away.. but this exercise is not vain, there are many like me.. living in a reverie, a dream... a pleasure!
pheww!


Life is far from over and I am not yet inured to suffering; certainly I have to see many similar scenes, much more of the scenes that needs to be enacted on this stage called life. At times passion would be invisible but I’d rather try to catch that with a flicker, burning against the darkness of the world, tiny but powerful, powerful enough to make me want to live, love, suffer, recover......and one day sleep forever....in the arms of my beloved. Seeing is believing... I see the monotonous life ahead... full of pleasures.... full of shear vanity.... full of lust.... full of dreams...... dreams that make me want more... i see.. i believe...
I will keep trying to live my dreams... to hide inside the invisible cloak.... always around and yet never there. Nevertheless... i will always doing that vain exercise.... LOVING... and being loved...

Love isn't requisite, it will happen or it won’t, but to gather as many pearls as possible, and to give out as few, is the desideratum .....
i can live without love, but as every human being.... love is the ultimate desideratum... serum of life.... a jewel...desired by all....felt by only few...

duh!